Up yer nose, like a garden hose!

Ok, so I assume you have read part one of recovery after surgery and I wrote”Little did I know what was to come!”.  Well allow me to fill you in.                                                                                                                                          As the operation is so invasive  you are not allowed to eat anything until after you have been to the loo for a poo. This usually takes 5-7 days!  The night before  I was going home a nurse had come in to take out my staples  just as I was about to eat. Between us we managed to wiggle them out and then I ate my Curry and Rice. I noticed then that this meal was not settling and I couldn’t sleep properly because of this. When I woke up,  I was feeling quite low as my stomach was  swollen and I was starting to feel uncomfortable knowing that I was  going to have to wrestle with my dilators too. Mr Bellringer and Iffy came and gave me permission to leave. Hooray!! Home for the weekend!!!!!

By Sunday night my condition was worsening. I had pains in or near my bladder, I was vomiting and I felt so ill that I phoned for an emergency doctor. The doctor was a very strange man, he shuffled around my room like Paddington Bear and he was so gentle, shy and sweet. He could easily have been a character from a film! He asked me of my condition and I told him that I was a Transsexual woman and had just had colonavaginaplasty. He told me that he had never met a Transsexual patient before and he found it hard to believe that I had been born with male parts! He gave me anti-sickness pills, antibiotics for my bladder infection and he changed my painkillers from Dyclofenac sodium to Tramadol.                                                                                                              By Wednesday the pains in my bladder had gone but I was still  ill. By the weekend my stomach was spasseming with pain and eating was getting real hard, so on the Monday I visited  a locum GP at my doctors surgery . She gave me anti-spasm pills and Gaviscon to settle my stomach. This treatment wasn’t helping so on the Wednesday I went back to my doctors surgery and this time I got my Gp, Imogen. She took one look, she felt my tummy and she new straight away that  I was really ill. She phoned for an ambulance.                                                                                            Can you believe this! The ambulance people would not take me right across town to my special hospital where I had had my operation. Neither would they admit me into the UCH in Kings Cross as they don’t have the specialist teams needed for this kind of operation. Luckily I have a friend who has a truck and I got him to drive me across town to Charring Cross Hospital at Hammersmith.  I was taken in through A&E  and assessed straight away.   First they had to get blood samples and a line-in to give me fluids as I was really dehydrated. I told them that they would have huge problems finding a vein to use as I was  an introvienous heroin user for 15 yrs and that most of my visible veins were collapsed. Luckily the senior doctor on charge knew not to faff about and she went straight in for my huge neck vein. No messing about!  From A&E I was wheelied across back to The Marjory Warren ward where I had been 2 weeks before for my GRS (Genital Reconstructive Surgery).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thursday morning and I was still really ill. They had to put a tube right down into my stomach to release the pressure. It felt horrible going up my nose and then down my throat. When it got to my stomach I couldn’t help it; I threw up all over the place, violently. It was awful. They hadn’t got a basin ready so I covered myself, the nurses and all the bed linen with vile green bile! Another scene from a horror movie! Once they had got the pressure off my stomach they injected 100mls of blue coloured dye into my stomach through the tube. 4 hours later I was wheeled up to the Xray dept.    Later that evening a surgeon comes and tells me that he wants to open me up and have a look at what is causing this blockage in my gut. He explains to me possible outcomes of this surgery. He could simply simply clear the blockage; or I could loose the blood supply to my knew neo-vagina; or have to fit me with a Stoners bag if my Colon is compromised! He has made all these decisions without consulting my Gender surgeon Mr Bellringer. I am not happy. I even had to sign a consent form. I could imagine the surgeon sharpening his knives!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I spent all weekend on the drip feed and not allowed to eat or drink anything. I was feeling better but my stomach was still cramping. Luckily the main operating theatres were too busy to fit me in and by Monday my proper surgeon Mr Bellringer had arrived. He asked me how I was and I told him that I had just had a little diareah. He was amazed and he told me that maybe my blockage was clearing. He got on his mobile straight away and cancelled the op. I was sent back to Xray and sure enough the dye had reached my colon. HOORAY; Saved by diareah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                       Over the next 2 days I started drinking fluids. I had been staring at a bottle of cold pressed apple juice all weekend. I imagined it would taste of paradise. Surely enough after not eating or drinking for so long my imagination wasn’t let down. That apple juice was the best relief I have ever tasted after being so ill and close to death for so long. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     I got a lift home 5 kilos lighter and still quite weak but relieved to be in one piece. My dilating regime had been compromised and I was not getting my dilators in properly. Over the next 6 days my stomach started cramping  again with pain. At first I thought I could control it by just drinking water but it just got worse. I saw my GP , she sent me sraight back to the hospital.  This time I didnt need the tube up my nose but the rest the same. Drip in the neck; Nil by mouth discharge after the weekend. This isnt the end of it. A day after discharge my stomach was cramping again. This time I admitted myself through A&E. I was out in 3 days.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     So all in all, from the beginning of my 2nd   vagina operation to release, 5 weeks. A stone and a half lighter and my dilating regime, f**cked. Who said SRS is a walk in the park.

Whats that in yer jugular viein?

{next episode coming soon: Boob Job: Ouch}